Holy Moly, I'm 31?!

Did anyone see where 2010 went? I can't seem to grasp that a year, specifically related to my birthday, has passed by so fast. I feel like I literally just turned 30 but nope, it's time for me to embrace 31.

Anyone who reads my blog regularly or who is very close to me knows that this past year has been full of unbelievable experiences. It seems clear that I'm well on my way down the career path I've chosen but I've also been on a personal journey of 'self-discovery' that's been amazing, as well. I've really grown (and continue to grow!) into the woman I want to be and god has been ever so faithful in refining who I am as a person. Sometimes it's hard for me to relate to who I was even a few years ago and I take that as the strongest sign of progress in my life. I don't even feel the need to explain that anymore because my heart has simply changed and that's that. I don't need to qualify it. I can just say that it's a glorious thing to see life through a different lens and I wonder how I could ever have lived differently before.

Turning 31 excites me. I don't fear getting older in the slightest because I'm leaving behind an immaturity element in my life that feels great. I really look so forward to seeing how the next two years unfolds for me because they're going to be pretty defining in a bunch of ways. So, while I couldn't re-live the incredible celebration I had for my 30th, I had a fabulous time with a very small group of close friends. It was just what I wanted; intimate, meaningful and relaxed.

We all met at Spitzers for a few beers before which was, um, interesting. It's completely turned into a frat house there and not the cool, unassuming local spot I remember it being. Ohhh, lower east side, how you continue morphing into such a trust fund hipster community. I kept giggling thinking that there I was to celebrate turning 31 and I was easily 8 years old than the clientele. Who cares, we still completely enjoyed ourselves:

I have to note that this was sort of a joint celebration with Ben as he ran his very first half marathon that morning and rocked it coming in at 2:13. GO BEN! He's genuinely very happy here to have some beers, heehee:

After Spitzers, we headed over to Rockwood to see Robbie Gil which was really the true celebration. Yep, pretty sure you all feel like you know ol' Robbie personally after the amount of times I've written about him. He just gets better and better with each show and it was the perfect way to celebrate:

Best part of the show? Robbie wishing me a happy birthday on stage. That totally made my night and was just awesome. I love this photo and it'll be special to me for a long time:

We stuck around after Robbie's show to check out the tremendous Martin Rivas who wished me several more happy birthdays, as well! What a sweet guy he seems to be and I cannot wait to see more of him. Shameer had surprised me with a delicious chocolate mousse birthday cake which we totally shared with Martin on stage. :) Yum:

Martin doing his thing:

It was an unforgettable night shared with some of the people I love most. Yes, that includes you, Robbie. :P My parting gift was hanging onto Robbie's setlist for the night where, when he's one day famous, I can look back on it and remember my special birthday wish:

Somehow, he knew 'Big Picture' is one of my favorite songs too so a big happy 31st birthday to me! :)

Patrick Heads East!

This post is quite delayed considering it's been a week since my dear friend, Patrick, was here buuuut better late than never. I was so very excited a couple of months ago when he and I discussed a possible New York visit for him. He lives outside San Diego in Redlands and, while he constantly tortures me with how awesome the weather is, he decided to head east for MLK weekend since neither of us had anything going on. I personally find it kind of funny that the weather was so frigid while he was here so he can somewhat appreciate the brutality we face. At any rate, it was so awesome to finally have him back on the east coast for a few days.

He got to my apartment around 7pm on the 14th and we got to catch up a bit before heading to meet friends. I met Patrick in my first class when I started University of Phoenix in 2004 and we ended up taking several of the same courses over time. We've stayed very good friends over the years and I was really excited to introduce him to so many people here! We spent the entire weekend out and about. I got to show him Eataly and around several different neighborhoods. We also tried a new dumpling place in my neighborhood called Mahjong which was fantastic! We drank wine, talked about everything under the sun, listened to some new music that he introduced me to. Speaking of, I got to introduce him to the infamous Robbie Gil too as we met a group of friends for the show on Saturday night. Two side notes: A) My friend, Lori, and her fiance just moved back to the city as well and it was a total treat to have them out with us for the show and 2) Robbie Gil was sporting the most incredible mustache I've ever seen. Please behold:

As if we didn't love him enough.

Sunday was an epic football day since none of us had to work on Monday. We had quite the crew show up for that and it was so incredibly fun. Sometimes, you just have those days where you don't stop laughing. My face literally hurt after a while. All in all, it was such a good weekend spent with the greatest people. I love having pictures to always hold on to when such great memories are made:

Robbie Gil Record Release Party

You can go back through so many of my posts where I reference the one and only Robbie Gil. He is my favorite local musician and he's an absolute powerhouse mixture of performer and songwriter. He is so very talented with a deep, smoky voice like that of Ray LaMontagne. His rich, soulful voice is definitely what draws you in initially but then you pay attention to his lyrics and you're truly blown away.

I've been going to see Robbie Gil for three years and he is a huge part of what makes living in New York so wonderful. His songs have really been like a life soundtrack for me. I can pinpoint so many ups and downs where his music has played on in the background of my heart and mind. Interestingly enough, I've been able to follow along on his journey as he's seemingly endured heartbreak himself and I've gotten to see him press on and heal as he's openly shared his soul through his songs. It's rare to find the kind of artistry where honesty and transparency seem to be the top priority. This is what you'll find in any live Robbie Gil show. I remember listening to his album 'Stumble Inn' for the first time before seeing him live and, while I thought he was great, I had no idea what I was in for with a live show. He is tremendous and the guys he plays with regularly now are every bit as talented. I had the great pleasure of attending his 'Save Yourself' record release party and show on Saturday night and I am so glad I went.

As a side note, because food rules my life, I have to mention that we had dinner at The Meatball Shop on Stanton beforehand. Um, though I got made fun of for repeating it a million times, I couldn't stop saying how genius the place is. The menu is small enough where they can perfect each dish and the original recipe ideas (like homemade oatmeal ice cream!) are, well, genius. Awesome prices, cool space, great food - I mean, you can't ask for much more. I had a couple of sierras ($4 might I add!), we shared the chicken meatballs with pesto and classic beef with spicy meat sauce, and sampled the delicious roasted butternut squash with walnuts and ricotta salata. So good!

Ok, back to Robbie. What a fantastic and packed show it was. He played a couple of known favorites and then a few new songs off the record. I got such a calm energy from him and you really felt their sense of pride on completing the album. It was exciting to hear a couple of never before played songs, one of which had strong lyrics like "I'm gonna make ends meet before I meet my end". Inevitably, he speaks to me on some level each and every time I see him. I feel this odd connection to Robbie like that of an old friend or someone who you've known for a really long time. Though I only recently met him, I enjoy that aspect of how I feel with his stuff. I think that says something about him as an artist.

I'm really happy for him and the guys with this record. I wish them the absolute best and I look forward to so many more music filled evenings with them. Play on, Robbie Gil:

 Harmonica, YES:

The hugely talented Pat Firth:

I love Josh Dion (on drums) in this:

My favorite:

Brooklyn Bridge Day

I had myself a very full weekend! I already wrote about going to the cheese/beer pairing and Eataly, but I must also mention what a fantastic Saturday night I had, too.

Joel came to visit for the weekend so I was excited to see him and to get a crew together to go out. I met Camille in the west village first before heading over to meet her buddy, Dave. He was in town from Austin and manages a bunch of bands performing at the CMJ Festival that was happening all last week. We already had plans to see Robbie Gil later on but we met Dave early to check out some other stuff. He was so awesome and got us into a show at Bowery Ballroom, only we all got caught up talking instead. He leads such an insane and fascinating life. I could have talked to him all night.

After that, we went to meet Joel for a quick beer at Marshall Stack and then it was off to Rockwood for Robbie Gil. Holy crap, what a show! I don't know whether it was because he was a part of CMJ this year or what but this was one of the best Robbie Gil shows I've seen in quite some time. The energy was vibrant and his soul was on that stage in each song, particularly 'How's Colorado'. I was really glad to introduce Joel and his friends to it. From there, we all hung out for the next four hours, no kidding. It was a GREAT night.

This post wasn't even supposed to be about Saturday night but ooops. I like to write a lot, sue me. Instead, I was going to tell you about our lovely walk across the Brooklyn Bridge on Sunday afternoon! I'm embarrassed to say that I've lived here nearly five years and never done that. Ohhh well, there's a first time for everything. Joel's bus wasn't until 9:00pm so we took advantage of the whole day just leisurely walking across and into Brooklyn. The bridge is just so magnificent. I get really amazed by architecture like that. It seems impossible to build such a tremendous structure like the Brooklyn Bridge and it honestly blows my mind. I kick myself for taking so long to walk across. I really liked this shot of Camille and I:

We meandered around in Brooklyn for a while and stopped into Jacques Torres where I wanted to buy out the store. I mean, they even had chocolate covered cheerios! We walked some more after pausing near the waterfront and got some dinner at a tiny little mexican joint that had the most delicious tamales. I've actually been craving them since!

I really need to take more advantage of things like this before I leave New York. I never want to regret not doing so. It was just such a great day (and weekend!) all around. :)

Dig Deep(er)

Merriam-Webster defines pain as a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort such as pricking, throbbing, or aching. Though this definition explains physical pain, isn’t it really the most relevant way to describe heartache? You have something/someone that hurts you, you take it in to process it, and you are left with a throbbing ache that is often crippling. For me, heartache at times as been far more debilitating than anything physical that has happened to me thus far.

This past weekend, I experienced pain that leveled me. The kind of pain that causes you to question all the faith you’ve had, all the changes you’ve made. The kind of pain where you feel like you’re suffocating with each breath you try to take. I think in recent months I’ve been incredibly strong and focused. I’ve been walking along, breathing in and out, and taking each day as it comes with grace and confidence. I’ve embraced the simple goodness and joys in life that are new with each day and I’ve managed my painful moments with clarity and strength. I’ve not succumbed to those moments, I’ve risen above them. Well, I am still human. I still have moments of failure or stumbling. Though I try hard, I can’t possibly escape moments of crippling pain even when I do my best to keep perspective. I don’t feel the need to go into detail about what happened, I just feel lead to write and to get some thoughts out of my head.

My favorite local musician, Robbie Gil (whom I actually saw over the weekend, too!), wrote a song called ‘paint by numbers’ and the lyrics are something that have floated in the background of life for me for some time. He says:

I'm gonna paint by numbers
Just put one foot in front of the other
And it's gonna hurt like hell for so long
I'll go ahead and pretend that I'm alright
Yeah, I'll go out and I'll fight the good fight
But one thing I know for sure is this that life goes on
Even after you're gone

I find what he says here to be a perfectly painted scenario of how you take each day to “put one foot in front of the other” and keep moving. I think it’s an ironic parallel that pain can be crippling or paralyzing which is the ultimate hindrance of moving forward. You don’t hear people say “it hurts so much I just want to keep moving”. No, you hear people say things like “it hurts so much I feel like collapsing”. In life, the only true constant is change. We’re guaranteed to be tested, challenged, put through the fire. We’re almost certain to encounter situations that bring pain in some form and it’s all about how we handle it and keep moving. I don’t believe we’re meant to stand still in life. I believe we are called to constantly forge ahead and allow pain to grow us.

For any of you that might be feeling what I am right now, I can only say this - have faith. Persevere. Look ahead, not behind. Move forward. Keep. Going. There is a season for every moment and a time to feel pain. There is a time to soar and a time to fall. Without the falling, you can never deeply appreciate the soaring and that is where reality and truth lay.

It’s going to take me a little time to find my way back to the path I’ve been walking. I know that and I moreso respect the process. Life isn’t about ignoring the pain, it’s about feeling it so that it moves you. I just hope that whoever out there that might be experiencing what I am can know that they are not alone. My brother wrote me after I shared my heavy heart with him yesterday and these words are helping my heartache today:

Seasons are different than patterns. Seasons are inevitable, just like in nature. Death, dryness and grayness leads to beauty, sunshine and new growth. And, so it goes.

Yes, indeed. And, so it goes.

And, so I continue to go as well down the path of healing even with all of its detours and stumbling blocks. Father god, may this be a season of your refining growth. May my pain challenge me to dig deep, even deeper than I already have, and stand tall.

This, too, shall pass.