Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Two Days til Turkey!

I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed and excited about Thanksgiving in two days. This time of year completely lights me up and makes me feel so alive. The crisp air, the smell of 'cold', the comfort of sweaters and blankets and 'warmth''s almost impossible to capture all the amazing feelings of the holidays. I wish I could bottle them up and save them for a rainy spring day when I'm so missing the peacefulness that the holidays bring.

I'm staying in New York this year to cook our annual Thanksgiving dinner with Allison. This is our
7th year cooking with one another! My, how the time goes by. We reminisced last night about past years and so many memories that have been built with one another and others over this holiday. I know at Thanksgiving we're all supposed to be so grateful and thankful for our blessings but I am so beyond thankful that sometimes I feel like I'll bust in a million pieces. My twenties have been so full of learning, loving, losing, gaining...I am such a complex woman in the best, and sometimes worst, of ways and I'm thankful for it all. When Allison and I were doing our food shopping last night I kept thinking why do I have all that I do and I feel so drawn to a humility that I never knew in my past. Life is so full of questions and disappointments and failures and losses and, to me, I embrace every part of these things that I have come to learn from and live by.

At this time of year, I praise God to the fullest for the things that make me the woman I am and for all of the hard times that he has allowed me to endure. I remember being in bible school when I was a kid and the example of the blacksmith was tossed around freely; how a blacksmith is a "person who creates objects from iron or steel by forging the metal, i.e., by using tools to hammer, bend, cut, and otherwise shape it in its non-liquid form". I mean, is there a better example of what God does with us? I certainly see so much more of that work in my life, that's for sure. I just get so "reflective" at this time of year and maybe it's because another year is coming to a close or maybe it's just because it's how I've always been...but I always find myself at this odd place of looking inward and seeking to find what it is that makes me whole. (Funny how listening to a little 'Angus and Julia Stone' can help prod one along on the journey of self-discovery! Man, they kick ass.)

I think I'm closer than I ever have been to figuring myself out. Lord knows I have a long way to go but one step at a time right? That said, I'll just turn my attention back to it being only two days til turkey. I can't wait to celebrate with Allison and just "be" amongst all that is good is my life!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Deciding to blog...

So, I'm at The Living Room last Saturday night with a cold beer, good friends, and awesome music randomly thinking I have so much inside me to let out but I have no clue how to do it. I've had friends that blog and put a great deal of time and effort into it because they say it's ultimately the truest expression of themselves and it's their outlet. So, I have decided to finally start a blog of my own in hopes that it helps ME find the outlet I so often need in this crazy journey of life. We'll see what happens...